Demographic Misfire

I am a white, middle-aged man. Betcha didn't know that, didja? I betcha didn't know that I'm rich. In fact, I've been watching my IRA and various mutual funds and trust funds grow over that past 40 years of my fabulously successful business management career. I'm looking forward to exotic travels in my (rapidly approaching) retirement. I'm going to treat my wife to Alaskan, Greek, and Scandinavian cruises, thanking her for sticking with me while I worked long hours and also for not divorcing me and taking half of my fortune in alimony after I cheated on her with one (alleged) mistress. I drive a caddy. It could be sedan or SUV, but it's a caddy. I know I should drive a Prius and be more Earth conscious, but I've made it, haven't I? Oh, and those walk-in bath tubs that Ed McMahon promotes are looking pretty good. Last but not least, I have contacted my doctor to talk about the new meds that can fix those pesky bladder, heart and gallbladder problems that reduce the spontaneity of my (soon-to-be) active retirement lifestyle. Oh yeah.

At least, the magazines that I read believe I belong to that demographic. There was a time when I thought I didn't fit into a easily defined marketer's demographic, though that was never true. Those Holly Golightly ideas of individuality didn't last very long. Now, however, it's crystal clear that I am outside of the expected or targeted demographic. It's bizarre and pretty amusing.

The first Lollapalooza demonstrated exactly how many people like me were running around out there. Advertisers couldn't wait to get their hooks into the newly identified target market: white, educated, suburban raised and city dwelling, just to the left of center politically and simply adores great design. Simply put, it worked. All kinds of products started popping up that were cleverly and clearly targeted to me and my demographic. I wanted what VW was selling, for example. Y100 wasn't so bad to listen to when I was driving my two-door beater that didn't have a CD player. High Fidelity was the pinnacle, though. It wasn't my life, per se, but it accurately described at least 3 or 4 very close friends/ boyfriends.

Of course, the advertisers learned that my demographic earned a bit less than what was expected. While we all wanted these products, there weren't enough of us in the demographic who could afford them. It seemed like the marketers and companies bailed and changed tack. Y100 switched formats and advertisers started focusing more on GenY than GenX because GenY's parents gave them more money than GenX had to spend. Or something like that. Here in Norway, there are few ads that I see that make me want a particular product - excepting Scandie furniture and interior design. Although I've started to earn an OK salary, Ikea is still all I can afford. It's odd to realize that I really am outside an easily defined demographic for the time being.

Now who can guess which demographically incorrect magazines I subscribe to?

(Mom and Dad – you're not allowed to post your answers!)